The Emperor’s Top 10

What would you change if you had the power, the authority?

I’m not up for the rigors (and likely revelations) that go along with running for office, but I am open to being named Emperor. And as your Emperor, here are the Top 10 Things I would change immediately (if not sooner):

1)      Order all billboards taken down. They are eyesores that detract from the beauty of nature and distract drivers.  Sidebar: The members of the Georgia House, in their infinite wisdom, recently voted to allow “vista pruning,” cutting down those terrible trees that stand between the billboard and the roadway. Claimed they were helping save jobs.

2)      Bury all utility lines. Another eyesore eliminated, a hazard for inebriated drivers removed, and no more concern about ice laden wires toppling in the aftermath of storms and pulling the plug on power for thousands of customers.

3)      Remove speed bumps.  These manmade monstrosities succeed only in profiting auto shops specializing in alignment work. Sidebar: the management of one Atlanta office building has painted stripes similar to what you see on speed bumps in their parking lot.  What happens? Cars slow down as if they were actual speed bumps.

4)      Make all political offices one term.  The President would serve for seven years, members of the US Senate for six and House members would be voted to four year terms – on a staggered basis. Sidebar: Journalist Peggy Noonan is quoted on as saying, “Voters think Washington is a whorehouse and every four years they get to elect a new piano player.  As Emperor, I’d leave the piano player and the girls upstairs alone, and start shuffling out the good ole boys in the backroom.

5)      Require the television networks (and local stations) to maintain the volume of their commercials at the same level as that of their programs. They actually do pump up the volume for commercials.

6)      Order full disclosure of all cash paid to or for the benefit of any and all publicly elected official as well as the bureaucrats they appoint.  Money spent in this arena is clearly designed to help gain access, access leads to influence and then to power, and power corrupts.

7)      Allow the residents (qualified voters) of every state to vote whether they want to be able to buy liquor on Sunday, gamble legally and/or give special tax breaks to attract new industry. Sidebar: A former Georgia Governor pre empted a public vote on a lottery for years; citing “moral grounds.”  The lottery approved by the voters after Joe Frank Harris left office has funneled literally billions of dollars into education.

8)      Ban the following words from all political debate: “They, Them, Nazi, Neo, Fascist, Anti American, Always, Never, and None.”

9)      Legally prohibit anyone par boiling or baking meat (regardless how much sauce they slather on) from offering it to the public as “Barbecue.”

10)  Eject from the theater (only after photographing and posting the picture) anyone caught talking during a movie.

Those are the things I’d change. That’s my list.  What would you do were you to become Emperor?  Post yours and I’ll compile and we’ll see how others react.

Your Emperor In Waiting.